Coming to Therapy
Some people arrive in crisis: a loss, a future that no longer looks the way they imagined, the feeling that they’ve somehow lost themselves.
Others come without a crisis to point to. They can usually name something, a job, a relationship or a habit they’d like to change, but often sense there’s more to it than that. An undercurrent of restlessness, even when nothing is particularly wrong. Or the reverse: they know exactly what’s wrong, they’ve talked about it many times and talking about it hasn’t changed anything.
We might know, intellectually, that we’re capable, worthy, or deserving of something different but somewhere deeper, it doesn’t quite feel true. It was my fault. I’m an imposter. Nothing I do is ever enough. I can’t trust my own judgment, so I look to others for answers.
These beliefs aren’t always something we can reason our way out of. They can be deeply felt in the body and shaped by relationships, which is also where they can begin to change.
My hope is that you end up trusting yourself, not as a conclusion you’ve reasoned your way to, but as something you feel in your body and can act on. That you can want things again and be affected by them. That your life starts to feel like yours rather than something you’re keeping up with or a version of what you were supposed to want.
What therapy with me is like
Most people find their way to a page like this because they want something to feel different than it does. You probably have some idea of what that is. We’ll start there and follow it where it goes.
People often arrive having already done a lot of work on themselves. They can explain their patterns, sometimes very precisely and it hasn’t been enough on its own. Understanding a pattern is one thing; having a different experience is another.
The past matters. Patterns often have their roots in earlier relationships and there’s real relief in seeing why you respond the way you do and that it once made good sense. There’s also something that happens in the telling itself, in saying out loud what may never have been said before and discovering that it isn’t too much for the person listening.
Much of our work, though, happens in the here and now. The past doesn’t only show up in the stories we tell. It can show up in how we feel in our bodies, how we respond to others and what happens between us in the room. These are things we can become curious about together.
In the room
The ways you’ve learned to be with people will show up in our sessions too, managing how you come across, suddenly going quiet, watching how things land with me, having the answer ready before I’ve finished asking. That’s where it gets interesting because it means we’re not only discussing what happens elsewhere. We can slow it down and look at it while it’s happening.
I pay attention to what’s happening between us, too. Sometimes I’ll share what I’m noticing, not as an interpretation you have to agree with but as something we can explore together. If it doesn’t fit, telling me so is part of the work.
And this is where something different can be tried. It’s one thing to understand a pattern, another to do something other than the usual with someone who’s right there.
In the body
I also pay attention to what’s happening in the body while we talk, a shift in breath, a change in posture, where things tighten or go still. Sometimes our bodies respond before we have words for what we’re feeling. Slowing down and noticing these responses can help us understand experiences that are difficult to access through conversation alone.
I’m also curious about the longer story your body has been telling, pain that keeps coming back, difficulty settling, trouble sleeping or physical symptoms that seem to intensify during periods of stress. We can explore these experiences with curiosity, without assuming that every symptom has a psychological explanation.
Persistent or unexplained symptoms deserve appropriate medical evaluation. This work can complement medical care, not replace it.
What you want more of
Looking back matters but it isn’t where the work stops. What you want your life to look and feel like is part of it throughout.
It can take courage to let yourself imagine something you’ve never considered possible for you, not available, not realistic, not for someone like you.
Imagining it is where it starts. We also pay attention to what happens when you move toward it, the doubts, fears and familiar patterns that might pull you back. And together, we can explore what it feels like to respond differently.
The practical details
My work draws on Internal Family Systems (IFS), somatic approaches and relational and psychodynamic therapy. I use EMDR when it fits and when someone wants it. Some people come specifically for it, for others it becomes useful along the way and plenty of good work happens without it.
I see clients in person on the Westside, in the Marina del Rey and Mar Vista area and online across California. I offer therapy in English and German.
My fee is $250 for a 50-minute session and I keep a limited number of sliding-scale spots available. I don’t work with insurance directly but I can provide a superbill you can submit to your insurance for possible out-of-network reimbursement. If you’d like to see whether we’re a good fit, I offer a free 20-minute consultation. You can find more details about fees, insurance and scheduling in the FAQ.